By: Urfavfilosopher/Polyamorous Black Girl

Summertime often signals the season for sundresses and sneaky links. (Owwww!) Although the language of a “sneaky link” is newly emerging among millennials and Gen Z-ers, Xscape been about that sneaky link life. Their 1998 song “My Little Secret” explores the sneaky link before the turn…


I. Lessons from my aunt Mary J. Blige

In 1992 my aunt Mary was searching for something. Real love. She was searching for a real love; someone to satisfy her every need.

Just a couple of years ago, a Cornell University issued a call for projects that explored the notion…


I.

Among non-monogamists the term “relationship anarchy” is somewhat common. As I understand it, relationship anarchy is a philosophy about relationships that involves the belief that intimate relationships should not be governed by conventional rules or norms. Some things about this should be relatively unsurprising. …


I. The Makings of a Failed Metaship

In the summer of 2019 I developed some amount of affection for a woman who had a boyfriend. Expressing her reluctance to exchange phone numbers, and out of respect for her monogamous romantic relationship, we opted to exchange social media handles.

In spite…


I.

On our way to Moses Hall in the fall of 2015, during a visiting research appointment at the University of California Berkeley, I asked my mentor Niko Kolodny “What, for you, is the difference between friendships and romantic relationships?”

To my surprise, Niko responded that the question was a…


I. “Meet Matt James”

Friends of mine know that I’m interested in all things “Black Love” and they were eager to suggest season 25 of The Bachelor to my watchlist. I hadn’t watched any season prior to this one but like much of the world, I was lowkey excited about…


I.

I’ve learned that I don’t like surprises…well, some surprises. Although I’ve experienced the forging and sustaining of romantic relationships many times, their termination has often caught me by surprise.

The surprise is no small matter. Many times these surpsrises have had lasting effects. Jessica Fern explains how traumatic detachments…


By: Urfavfilosopher/PolyamorousBlackGirl

Sza’s The Weekend made quite a splash among non-monogamous folks when it was dropped in 2017. Because depictions of Black ethical non-monogamists is sparse, we tend to flock toward media that may even just potentially cast a favorable light on non-monogamy. Yet we don’t think that the artist…


By: Urfavfilosopher/Polyamorous Black Girl

We had fun with this one. After going back and forth about how we should interpret Pleasure P’s “Boyfriend #2”, we had quite a bit to say about it. We thought it’d be dope for yall to choose your own adventure. So if you’re interested in…


By: Urfavfilosopher/Polyamorous Black Girl

When we say we want “that 90s R&B” type love, we typically don’t mean the one that shows up in the 1998 hit single “The Boy is Mine”. The standard interpretation of Brandy and Monica’s hit is that it portrays a love triangle involving a “two-timin’”…

Urfavfilosopher

Assistant Professor of Philosophy, Santa Clara University. Prof. Clardy’s scholarship and public writing focus on love, justice, and race in the Americas.

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